My first time visiting online bridal chat rooms… When did brides become so vicious?

“I reviewed many bridal chat room discussions and there was a mixture of feedback from being helpful and kind to just flat out mean. Before researching these chat rooms I had no idea how straight forward others could be with people they have never met before. I came across a conversation shared between a future bride-to-be and a former bride that left my jaw dropped at the computer screen for hours.”

My first time visiting online bridal chat rooms… When did brides become so vicious? 

Growing up, the opinions of my family and friends have always been important to me; over time nothing has really changed. However, if I’m at a party surrounded by a bunch of strangers, busting out the most unattractive dance moves is totally cool with me. So, I guess you can say when it comes to others opinions, even if those opinions are from complete strangers; that’s where I draw my line on caring.

Majority of people today value the opinions of others. From my personal experience, I find that if you want 100% honesty you’ll most likely never get it from a friend or a loved one that genuinely care about you and your feelings. The best chance at getting the utmost honest truth is from people who are not closely connected to you.

Thanks to the invention of chat rooms those lovely people are at the edge of their seats just waiting to critique your every move! Now, before you go rush out and mail thank you cards to those that finally gave you the truth you’ve been longing for; there is a little thing to keep in mind. Sometimes the truth can be ugly… and I mean Ugly! You’re not always going to like everyone’s opinions or agree with them for that matter, so keep an open mind.

There are many forms of chat rooms; each can be broken down into several different categories. In regards to wedding planning, bridal chat forums have become an extremely popular resource. These bridal chat rooms are open to the community and are commonly used by those searching for more information, seeking opinions or hoping to find inspiration; this all makes sense when you consider that most couples are planning their wedding for the first time.

When researching bridal chat rooms from The Knot and Wedding Wire these were some common questions that were asked:  Do you like my dress?  Is a late night snack expected?  Is having 20 bridesmaids a good idea?

I reviewed many bridal chat room discussions and there was a mixture of feedback from being helpful and kind to just flat out mean. Before researching these chat rooms I had no idea how straight forward others could be with people they have never met before. I came across a conversation shared between a future bride-to-be and a former bride that left my jaw dropped at the computer screen for hours.

Check it out!

Bride-to-be: I have 20 bridesmaids, I was thinking of including a bridesmaid’s survival kit filled with nail polish and hair pins etc. in addition for something special for each bridesmaid. Do you think this addition would be a good idea?

Former Bride: Really? No one wants your cheap junk from the Dollar Store as a thank you gift for participating in your bridal party, very tacky. I would never want to be part of your bridal party.

The fact that the former bride is still hanging around in the bridal chat rooms stating her opinion blows my mind. I cannot believe how rude her response was to a simple question posted by the bride-to-be. It was apparent that the bride-to-be had never planned a wedding before and doesn’t know all of the etiquette rules. Everyone starts somewhere!

There are both positive and negative approaches to the communication within bridal chat rooms:

Pros

• Provided with 100% honestly
• Ability to open your mind into others perspectives
• Connecting with others that share your vision

Cons

• Opinions of others can create uncertainty with ideas you had thought were awesome.
• Open the door to let in negativity
• Judgment from others

As an outsider looking in, I can see how others opinions can provide helpful information while you start planning. On the other hand, I can defiantly see how the opinions of others can become hurtful for a bride that is more sensitive or doesn’t accept criticism very well.

If you’re anything like me, you appreciate the opinions of others but realize your own opinion is the most important.

Do you think bridal chat rooms are more helpful or harmful to a bride-to-be?

When communicating in chat rooms, do you prefer brutal honesty or rather a sugar coated response?

Is there such thing as being too honest; if so, where’s the line between valuable advice and harsh criticism?

I would love to hear about your bridal chat room experiences, the good and the bad ones!

 -Carlye